A Child's Laughter
by dare-denymecider
Summary: CJ/Hoynes. Can enemies ever overcome their differences to live happily ever after? please ignore the first line of every chapter - ff/microsoft word seem to hate me and keep mucking up my posts!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters - you really think I have

**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters - you really think I have  
that kind of money?**

**  
Rating T for a few swear words and allusions of sex!**

**A/N: Finally getting around to posting all of my West Wing stories on here. Not sure how many WW fans are still out there but I hope whoever reads it, whether you're a fan of the show or not, enjoys it. Let me know what you think Em x**

A Child's Laughter.

CJ sat on the stoop outside her apartment, a steaming mug of coffee  
cradled in her hands, and watched as a young couple walked past with  
their child. The small girl giggled gleefully as her father scooped  
her up to sit on his shoulders and CJ couldn't help but wonder if  
the sound of a child's laughter was the reason why the world  
existed. So pure and innocent at such a young age, unaware of the  
woes of the world that they had been brought in to, delighting in  
each newfound beauty of the earth. Without such innocence, CJ  
wondered, would we strive so hard to make it to adulthood?

CJ sighed loudly, watching as her warm breath formed white clouds  
and floated off into the cool, DC evening air. When had she become  
so cynical? At what time had she come to ponder life's trials and  
tribulations?

Probably at the same moment she had begun to feel lonely, CJ  
thought. Probably when returning to her apartment every evening on  
her own had become something she dreaded rather than something she  
welcomed. No husband to greet her at the doorway with a kiss  
reserved only for her. No children to sing a lullaby or read  
nighttime stories to.

Not even a cat!

The cat she could probably live without but everything else………the  
longing for a husband, a child………a family………had recently lodged  
itself deep in her heart.

CJ reached up with her free hand and wiped away the stray tear that  
was slowly making its way down her cheek. She shivered. It was  
starting to get cold. Standing up, she took one last sip of her now  
lukewarm coffee and tossed the dregs into the bushes to the side of  
the steps. She allowed herself to watch as the young family walked  
further down the street until they turned the corner and she was  
left with nothing. Smiling at the irony she walked into her  
apartment building, shutting the door tightly behind her. A hot  
bath and an early night, she thought to herself as she unlocked the  
door to her apartment. It was only ten o'clock but she had an early  
morning meeting with the Vice-President and CJ had a feeling she was  
going to have a fight on her hands.

John Hoynes turned swiftly on his heel, narrowly avoiding walking  
into the wall, and then resumed his pacing. Angry wasn't the word  
to describe how he was feeling. Jed Bartlet - Mr President - was  
once again asking him to do his dirty work for him, without even  
having the decency to come right out and ask him face to face.

No, thought John, that would be the easy thing to do, the right  
thing to do. Not only did he have to live in the shadows of the man  
who beat him to the Presidency but also it seemed that he wasn't  
good enough to be given his orders directly from the President.  
Instead, the White House sent over the Press Secretary, CJ Cregg.  
The woman had an answer for everything and never let John do things  
his way.

A bitter laugh escaped John's lips. He hadn't been surprised  
when he'd found out about his meeting with CJ, it wasn't the first  
time she had been sent to give him orders and John was sure it  
wouldn't be the last.

For now, though, he was being sent to California to try to smooth  
things over after Jed shafted them with the latest tax hikes. Smile  
sweetly and make sure the President comes out of it unscathed were  
his instructions from CJ. And a little campaigning on my own  
behalf, John had thought to himself at the time. It would be  
difficult to arrange what with CJ accompanying him on the trip, no  
doubt to keep an eye on him, but John was sure that if he was doing  
a favour for the Bartlet Administration then he would make the trip  
beneficial for himself too.


	2. Chapter 2

"I can't believe you did that

"I can't believe you did that!" CJ stormed through the doors to the  
suite and came to a halt inches from the Vice-President's face.

"Ummm….Ms Cregg? We're trying to have a private conversation here.  
You can't just…"

CJ turned swiftly and glared at the Vice-President's assistant. The  
younger woman's face flushed red and she retreated, knowing from  
previous experience not to challenge CJ any further.

"How may I help you?" John asked when they were alone, his face the  
image of innocence itself but his eyes betrayed him and CJ's blood  
boiled when she saw the smugness emanating from them.

"You just hung him out to dry out there!"

"I did exactly what I was asked to do," John replied, his expression  
never faltering.

"You smoothed things over and then churned everything up again by  
announcing your own plans for future tax cuts," CJ fumed.

"I was never told NOT to do any campaigning. You should know by  
now, CJ, that if you have a puppet on a string then you have to  
keep a tight grip. Otherwise, you'll lose control,"

"I just can't believe that you would do this," CJ said, shaking her  
head in disbelief.

"You've screwed me, why shouldn't I screw you?" John retaliated, his  
anger growing as the confrontation continued.

"When….?" CJ started but John cut her off.

"Since day one! Jed should never have been elected. It should have  
been me."

"I thought that….."

"You thought what? That I'm happy to run after Jed Bartlet like a  
little puppy dog. That I'm happy to be working under him, working  
towards HIS ideals? You all make your mistakes and when you can't  
get yourself out of it you call on me and I have to deal with it.  
You don't care how I feel about anything, whether it goes against MY  
ideals to help you out. God, you're so selfish. No wonder you  
chose your career over a family, CJ. You are too selfish - or is it  
just that you can't find anyone to put up with your self centred life?"

CJ gasped, taken aback by his words. It was as if he had physically  
slapped her, her whole body stung with the force of his words. She  
thought back to that night on the stoop less than a week ago and she  
felt a lump grow in her throat at the thought of what she was  
missing.

"How dare you!" CJ choked out and turned towards the door before he  
could see the tears in her eyes. She had felt very vulnerable and  
raw for the last few weeks and the Vice Presidents verbal attack of  
things that were completely out of her control had all her emotions  
rising to the surface

"That's right, run away when it all gets too much for you," John  
sneered as he watched her walk towards the door. Typical of the  
Bartlet staff he thought – never stay around to fight the battle –  
cave at the first opportunity

CJ stopped and turned around to face him.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," she said with as much  
dignity as she could muster, walking back to where she had been  
standing before him.

"Don't I?" John asked, for the first time noticing the tears  
trailing down her cheeks. He swallowed hard. Maybe he shouldn't  
have been so harsh. But dammit he was still pissed at being sent  
here in the first place and if he couldn't take it out on the  
President he would take it out on the next best thing. He looked  
into her eyes and saw nothing but pain . He hardly knew her after  
all. He only knew her Press Secretary persona but maybe he had her  
all wrong.

"I don't see you with the doting wife and 2.5 kids. You actively  
chose your career over a family. That's where you and I are  
different," CJ said quietly, staring at the man before her. Amazed  
she had revealed so much of herself to this man – no-one knew her  
lack of a family was from lack of opportunity rather than desire.  
If she were honest with herself the desire to have children had  
always been there and as the years sped past it was getting  
stronger.

John tried to look away but found himself transfixed by the honesty  
and raw vulnerability in her eyes.

"Not so different," John whispered, capturing her lips between his.


	3. Chapter 3

CJ looked at the clock on the bedside table. 3.30am. She turned  
her head and looked, horrified, at the man sleeping peacefully  
beside her.

How could I have been so stupid?' CJ silently berated herself  
wondering how the hell she was going to get out of this with her  
dignity and her reputation intact. Dammit he caught me at a low  
moment and I just fell into his arms like some love starved  
teenager. He saw me at my most vulnerable and he used it. Not that  
it was just him. I didn't exactly fight him off.' CJ reasoned with  
herself. She closed her eyes and let out a loud sigh.

She hurriedly opened them again when she heard John stir but he  
quickly settled back to sleep. Seizing her opportunity, she slipped  
out of bed, dressing quietly before escaping out into the hallway.  
She didn't stop running until she had made it safely back to her own  
room where she collapsed on the bed burying her face in the pillow.

"This is gonna be awkward," she muttered lifting her head off the  
pillow. She lay still for a few moments, the events of the previous  
few hours running through her head. She'd just spent most of the  
night with the man she and her colleagues hated. Still hate,' CJ  
had to remind herself. But it hadn't felt wrong to be in his arms –  
in fact it had felt good – almost too good. He had been so tender  
and made her feel so wanted and she had to admit the sex had been  
fantastic.

Grabbing the pillow in both hands she brought it down over her head  
and let out a frustrated scream.

Why did it have to be him?

John opened his eyes as he heard the door click shut. He'd been  
awake for a while but he didn't want to speak to her. Getting out  
of bed he had to scan the room for his boxers that had obviously  
been discarded in the heat of the moment. After putting them on, he  
made his way into the bathroom and switched on tap, immersing his  
entire head under the cold stream of water. The cool liquid felt  
good against his skin but the rush of water couldn't block out the  
thoughts running through his mind.

Grabbing a towel from the rail he walked back through to the  
bedroom, drying his hair by roughly pulling the towel back and  
forth. Ruled by your dick again, John," he thought wryly. What he  
couldn't understand though, was why he kissed her in the first  
place. He had always scoffed when he had heard friends and  
colleagues talking about CJ Cregg and how beautiful she was because  
he didn't think she was beautiful at all.

"I still don't," John said out loud, making his defence to the empty  
room. But something about her last night, the way she had reacted  
to his words, the look in her eyes…it had made her look so sweet and  
vulnerable and…….sexy.

And then there was the sex itself. John smiled at the memory of  
her body against his. It had been a long time, for both of them he  
assumed, but as far as he could remember he had never had such great  
sex.

Just why did it have to be with her?


	4. Chapter 4

Fuck

Fuck!

CJ stared down at the plastic stick in her hand, the two blue lines  
on it flashing like a neon sign, and she muttered aloud the only  
word in her head.

Fuck!

That's what got me in this situation in the first place,' CJ  
thought wryly, sitting down on the edge of her bath. Dropping her  
hands into her lap, she watched through tear filled eyes as the  
white stick fell to the floor. Not that she needed the test results  
to tell her she was pregnant. She had put down missing the last few  
months of her period to stress but sickness had plagued her early  
morning routine for almost two weeks now, leaving her in no doubt as  
to its cause. Pregnant. And with John Hoynes' baby.

A wave of nausea washed over her as the reality of the situation  
sank in and CJ lurched forward, holding on to the sides of the  
toilet bowl as she wretched. Sure that the feeling had passed, she  
slowly got to her feet, steadying herself by leaning against the  
sink. Catching sight of her reflection in the mirror on the wall,  
CJ let out a loud sigh. The image staring back at her was one that  
she had come to recognise over the past week. Her skin was pale,  
almost on the verge of greying. The dark shadows under her eyes  
testament to the exhaustion she was feeling.

CJ couldn't help but grimace at the irony of the whole situation.  
Six months ago, she was desperate for a baby. Now that she was  
pregnant, she wasn't sure how she felt. Things weren't working out  
according to plan. Meet man, fall in love, get married, have  
babies. Result? Pure contentment and joy. As it stood, things  
were different. Sure, she met the man but as for the rest of the  
requirements. Forget it. Hate man, have unprotected casual sex,  
fall pregnant. Result? Pure resentment and utter confusion.

Turning on the tap, CJ splashed her face with the cool water,  
anything to try to bring a bit of life back to her face. Reaching  
out, she grabbed a towel from the rail and gently patted her face  
dry as she walked back through to the bedroom. Time to suit up and  
start the day, she thought with a groan.

"….well, that's your opinion, Mr President, but I for one, feel that  
we have to……"

John let his words trail off as CJ gently pushed open the door to  
the Oval Office and tried to discreetly join the meeting.

"Nice of you to join us, Claudia Jean," Jed Bartlet commented on her  
unusual tardiness.

"Sorry, Sir," CJ apologised, sinking back into the sofa next to  
Josh. Already this pregnancy was affecting her work, the  
unscheduled stop at the restroom to throw up making her late for the  
meeting with the Vice-President. Looking up she caught John staring  
at her with what looked like concern. Keeping her expression blank,  
she dropped her head down and concentrated on arranging her notes,  
fully aware that John was still looking at her. What was his  
problem?

"Carry on, John," Jed motioned for him to continue with the thread  
of conversation.

"Sorry, Sir. As I was saying, I feel that…" John put across his  
argument for the proposed tax cut but he couldn't stop thinking  
about the way CJ looked at him, not to mention how terrible she  
looked. If the circles under her eyes were anything to go by, John  
guessed that she wasn't getting more than a couple of hours of sleep  
a night – if that.

When the meeting was over, CJ made a quick exit, dodging out the  
side door as soon as the President dismissed them. John hurriedly  
shook hands with the President and rushed after her. Catching up  
with her just outside her office, he called out to her.

Spinning around at the sound of her name, CJ found herself face to  
face with John. "Mr Vice President, we have absolutely nothing to  
discuss at this moment in time so I would appreciate it if you would  
leave me the hell alone," she hissed.

It took John a few seconds to answer, the tone of her voice knocking  
him off guard. There had always been animosity between the two of  
them but they had both made an effort to be civil to one another  
within the White House.

"Well?" CJ prompted, annoyed that he was still standing there.

"I was just going to ask if you were sleeping okay? You look  
tired," John tried to keep his voice down, aware of the buzz of the  
bullpen behind him.

"I don't see that my sleeping habits are any of your damn  
business," CJ said, arching her eyebrow, daring him to mention their  
one night together.

"You don't look well – I was…." John caught himself before he said  
the word concerned'. Being concerned meant that he had feelings  
for her that were less than professional and although they had had  
sex but there certainly hadn't been any emotional tie – had  
there? "Never mind."

"My current state of health is none of your business, Sir, so unless  
you have something useful to say to me, something other than an  
insult, I would appreciate it if you would just leave," she said,  
with just enough venom in her voice to let John Hoynes know the less  
she saw of him the better.

"Bitch," he muttered under his breath, walking back out towards the  
main entrance. He had thought that perhaps if he could have  
extended an olive branch to CJ, they might have been able to forget  
about what had happened between them and just go back to hating each  
other professionally.

No chance of that, John thought as he climbed into the back of the  
waiting car. He had been right with his first impression of CJ.  
The bitch persona wasn't just a façade. Well, two can play at that  
game, John mused as the car sped back to the OEOB, and I'm as good a  
player as she is.


	5. Chapter 5

Damn it

Damn it!

She hadn't meant to be that cruel to him. There was no doubt in her  
mind she was keeping her baby and while John Hoynes was an arrogant  
bastard at times, he wasn't an idiot; he was going to put two and  
two together – eventually.

CJ squared her shoulders and informed Carol that she would be out of  
the office for a while and headed over to the OEOB.

The sooner she got this over with the better.

John tapped his pen repeatedly on his desk, the sheets of papers  
strewn across it, long forgotten. He couldn't get his run-in with  
CJ out of his mind and the more he thought about how angry she had  
made him, the faster the pen tapped.

It took him a few minutes to realise that his assistant was standing  
in front of him and he absently lifted his head, indicating that she  
should deliver whatever message she had.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, Sir. I did knock but you were…….,"  
Anna's voice trailed off as John raised an eyebrow, impatiently  
waiting for her to get to the point. "CJ Cregg's here to see you."

John lost control of the pen and it flipped off the table landing a  
few feet behind him. John ignored the unnerved expression on his  
young assistant's face and sat up straight in his chair.

"Send her in," John set about making himself look busy and only  
glanced up when he was sure CJ had been waiting for a few  
minutes. "Ms Cregg,"

"Mr Vice-President," CJ began, suddenly aware of what she was about  
to do. Maybe she had rushed into things. Maybe she should walk out  
right then and there and never look back. 'Like that would really  
help. The situation isn't going to change and he has to know, just  
tell him.' "Mr Vice-President…….John…..we need to talk."

"That much I had gathered," John sat forward in his chair, resting  
his forearms on the desk. "What does Bartlet need me to fix for him  
this time?"

"It's nothing to do with the President. It's personal. It's about  
what happened that night. Between us," CJ took a deep breath,  
unsure of what would happen after she had uttered the next few  
words. "I'm pregnant."

John swallowed hard, the rest of his body frozen in shock. CJ stood  
anxiously, waiting for the news to sink in. When he finally  
regained motor-functions, John stood up and walked around the desk  
so that he stood only a few inches away from CJ. He reached out his  
hand to touch her arm but she quickly shirked away from him and  
walked over to the window.

"We're having a baby?" John asked, the incredulous tone in his voice  
clearly evident.

"I'm having a baby, John, not us. The night we spent together….that  
was a mistake. But it happened and now there's a baby on the way  
and for that I'm truly thankful but it doesn't change anything  
between us. You have a right to know, you would probably have  
figured it out anyway, but this is my baby, and I want to raise him  
or her by myself. I can support this baby and myself and I don't  
need the added confusion of trying to explain who the father is.  
You don't need the scandal either and if I have to, I'll quit before  
I implicate you in any way" CJ stopped talking and was surprised to  
find that she was shaking. She hadn't meant to say so much but once  
she started talking she couldn't stop.

"Well, it seems as though you've thought this all through," John  
said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"I have," CJ nodded her head slowly.

"Ummm…well, thank you for telling me but I have work to do. I'm  
sure you understand," he ushered her towards the door and held it  
open for her.

"Yes, Sir," CJ slipped out and heard the door click shut behind  
her. Well, that was easy. CJ walked out of the office and through  
the corridors of the OEOB unsure of what to make of the scene, or  
lack of a scene, with John. She had been almost certain that he  
would have put up a fight, but from his reaction it would seem that  
he couldn't care less that he was going to be a father or that CJ  
didn't want him to be involved in anyway. Shaking off the uneasy  
feeling she had, CJ exited the building and started to walk back to  
the office. At the moment, any free time she had to think things  
through was a blessing and a few more precious moments out of the  
office was just what she needed.

Back in the OEOB, John was leaning against his door, not having  
moved a muscle since he had guided CJ out of the office. He was  
still finding it hard to digest what CJ had told him and was kicking  
himself for not saying more when he had had the opportunity. 'Not  
that it would have made any difference. Putting up a fight with CJ  
wouldn't get me anywhere – not right now'. He decided to leave it a  
few days and then he would approach CJ again and try to dissuade her  
from cutting him out of his child's life. It might be his only  
opportunity to be a father and he was damned if CJ Cregg was going  
to deny him his rights.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been over a week from the day CJ had told him the news and

It had been over a week from the day CJ had told him the news and  
since then, John had attempted to contact her dozens of times. She  
blanked him in the corridors, she hung up on him when he called her  
at home and she just refused point blank to accept his calls at the  
office. John was almost certain that her assistant, Carol, wasn't  
even telling her of the calls anymore. He wasn't one to give up  
easily though, and John knew that eventually CJ would have to  
acknowledge him, whether she wanted to or not.

He was sitting in his office watching footage of one of CJ's  
briefings from earlier on in the day. If he had been completely  
ignorant of the situation then he wouldn't have thought anything of  
it but there was definitely the inkling of a bump starting to appear  
on CJ's usually svelte frame. She was hiding it well with a  
slightly looser that normal, dark coloured suit jacket but  
calculating it in his head, John figured she was almost 18 weeks  
pregnant and even the Queen of Spin wouldn't be able to hide it from  
the eagle-eyed press corp for much longer. When the press found  
out, John knew it wouldn't be long before the questions and rumours  
about paternity, started to circulate. No matter what she said, CJ  
wouldn't give up the job she loved just to save him any political  
scandal either so sooner or later the truth will out.

John couldn't help but smile.

"Let's see how Bartlet and McGarry deal with this,"

"That's the baby's head…….fingers……toes…..and see that string of  
pearls right there? That's your baby's spine,"

CJ stared at the monitor in awe, a trail of tears falling off her  
cheek and onto the pillow. She had felt nervous about going for her  
sonogram alone, but as she watched her baby moving about on the  
screen she felt certain for the first time in weeks that she was  
capable of raising this child on her own. It had all been about  
bravado in John's office the week before, because in all honesty she  
hadn't been sure at all how she would manage alone, but the surge of  
love she felt for the tiny person she had just seen for the first  
time removed any doubt from her mind. She could do this without  
anyone……especially without John.

A pang of guilt hit her as she thought about John. When she had  
left his office after telling him about the baby, she had been sure  
that he couldn't have cared less about what she had told him. His  
recent actions, however, told her another story. He hadn't stopped  
trying to meet up with her or call her for the past 4 days and she  
was running out of excuses to give to Carol for refusing his calls.  
CJ was frightened that if she took any of his calls that her  
feelings were right, that he did want to be involved and she was  
scared. She didn't want him to be involved in her child's  
upbringing but as she continued to watch the baby she wondered if  
maybe she was being selfish. He didn't have to be a key player in  
the baby's life, she wouldn't even have to acknowledge him as the  
baby's father but maybe he should get to experience just a little  
bit of the joy that she was feeling.

CJ's thoughts were interrupted when the doctor began to wipe the gel  
off her stomach. CJ thanked her and pulled shut her gown, preparing  
to get off of the examination table.

"Ms Cregg, would you like a picture of your baby?" the doctor asked,  
and when CJ nodded, she began to print off a copy.

CJ thought for a moment before she made her decision.

"Dr Mason? Could you make that two?"

"CJ, please," John tried for what felt like the hundredth time to  
speak to CJ and so he was surprised when she ushered him into her  
office.

Shutting the door behind her, CJ walked over to her desk and opened  
up the top drawer. Reaching in, she pulled out a small brown  
envelope and held it tightly in her hand.

John watched her in silence, unsure of why CJ was suddenly willing  
to be in the same room as him but biding his time before he spoke,  
not wanting to mess things up now that they were finally alone.  
After a few minutes of silence, John opened his mouth to speak.

"CJ, about the baby, I just wanted to say…."

CJ walked around the desk and stood in front of him, cutting him off  
mid-sentence.

"Don't think this changes everything, John, I just thought that  
maybe you deserved not to be shut out entirely," CJ hesitated for a  
moment before handing him the envelope and heading for the door, " I  
have a briefing,"

John waited until the door had closed before opening the envelope.  
He gasped as he held up the small piece of paper that was inside. A  
picture of his baby. Their baby. He gently traced his finger over  
the baby's image, amazed at how tiny it was. He was also shocked at  
CJ's change of heart. Maybe things were looking up.


	7. Chapter 7

"You have to tell them,"

"You have to tell them,"

CJ's head shot up from the briefing paper she was reading, to see  
the First Lady standing in her doorway.

"Ummmm…Ma'am…I don't know what you're talking about," CJ managed to  
stammer.

"Don't bullshit me, CJ," Abbey said, shutting the door behind her  
and walking over to where CJ was sitting. Taking a seat, Abbey  
turned to face CJ. "They're men. They're not that observant. I,  
however, figure that, unless you've recently swallowed some sporting  
equipment, then you're about 4 months pregnant. Am I right?"

CJ blushed. "Almost. I was 18 weeks yesterday. How did you know?"

"CJ, you have a figure most 20 year-olds would kill for, so when  
you're suddenly walking around with a bump in front, to me it just  
screams pregnancy'. I have to applaud you though for managing to  
hide it for so long, those dark suits have been very forgiving,"

CJ felt a lump rise up in her throat. "I'm so sorry, Ma'am,"

Seeing the tears pooling in CJ's eyes, Abbey reached over and took  
hold of CJ's hand, squeezing it gently. "What are you sorry for?  
You're having a baby, that's a wonderful thing. You haven't done  
anything wrong."

At Abbey's final comment CJ couldn't hold back the tears any  
longer. It took Abbey a few moments to figure out what had tipped  
CJ over the edge but it eventually hit home.

"Oh," Abbey exclaimed, her eyes lighting up with the  
realisation, "well, I'm not going to ask about any of that. I don't  
need to know who the father is, that's entirely your business. Jed  
on the other hand, won't see it like that. He's going to ask you,  
you know that, right?"

CJ nodded, hiccupping slightly as she tried to stop crying.

"When are you going to tell them?" Abbey asked.

"I don't know. I wasn't planning on telling them for at least  
another week but if you've figured it out then they're bound to  
eventually."

"I'd say you're safe for the next few days. Take some time to work  
out what you're going to say. You'll have to be careful at you're  
briefings, though. Stay well behind the podium and watch you don't  
give the cameras too much opportunity to catch you side-on. The  
last thing you need is the media getting a hold of it before you're  
ready,"

CJ tried to answer but broke down again. Abbey looked at her with  
concern.

"You ARE ready for this, aren't you? I mean, I assume it wasn't  
planned but you're happy about it, right?"

"Oh, absolutely," CJ gushed between sobs, "This baby is all I've  
been thinking about for months, even before I got pregnant. And, I  
may not be in the situation I would have like to have been in going  
into this pregnancy but it's not going to dampen my feelings. I  
love her so much already,"

"Her?" Abbey raised an eyebrow.

"Her…Him…I don't care. I just want a healthy baby."

"Follow the doctors advice and I don't see any reason why you won't  
get your wish. Don't forget, I'm always here for you, CJ. If you  
want to talk……about anything,"

"Thanks, Abbey," CJ smiled, wiping at the corner of her eyes with a  
Kleenex.

"No problem, CJ," Abbey said, pulling her close for a reassuring  
hug. Breaking apart, Abbey stood and walked over to the door. "Oh  
and CJ?"

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"Congratulations,"


	8. Chapter 8

"Sir, the President would like to see you,"

"Sir, the President would like to see you,"

"Yes, he would," Bartlet's voice boomed as he walked past John's  
assistant and into the office.

John gestured for his assistant to close the door behind her. "How  
can I help you, Sir?"

"I'm sure you know,"

"I honestly don't…."

"Oh, come on, John, CJ told me."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Sir, I….with due respect this is none of your business."

"The hell it's none of my business! She's like a daughter to me,  
John. What are you thinking, letting her go through this alone?  
You have a responsibility to stand by her and you're just….."

"I TRIED, SIR," John's voice grew louder as Jed's accusation's set  
in.

"You TRIED?! Well, I'm sure that's what's important. It doesn't  
matter that CJ is going to be raising a child – your child – all on  
her own. When she came to me and told me about the baby and who the  
father was, I felt sure that you would do the right thing. I mean,  
we've had our political differences but you're a good man, John.  
How can you just deny your own child?"

"How DARE you! I never once denied this baby. Did she tell you  
that it was her decision for me to be excluded from the baby's  
life? DID SHE?" John locked eyes with Jed as he spoke.

"Well, no she didn't…." Jed started to talk but John quickly cut him  
off.

"And did she tell you that she's all but ignored me since she told  
me about that baby?"

"She's scared of the political scandal. Didn't you see the Press  
conference this afternoon?" Jed watched as John shook his  
head. "She kept your name out of it. She doesn't want to hurt your  
chances of becoming President next time around."

"I really resent the fact that you assume I am the one causing the  
problems. Dammit! I have done everything I can think of to show her  
she isn't in this alone but she is so damn mule headed and won't  
even consider anybody else's perspective! Mr, President, I'd resign  
in a heartbeat if I thought it would make a difference. In fact,"  
John stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath before he started to  
speak, "you'll have my resignation in the morning."

Jed walked over and placed an arm on John who was trembling with  
emotion.

"Now, John, don't do anything hasty,"

"This is it. This is my one chance to be a father and I am the  
first to admit this isn't the most ideal situation to bring a child  
into – but just because I don't love the mother doesn't mean I can't  
love the child. Believe me I am as shocked as anyone but my desire  
to be a good father is far greater than my desire to be president."

Jed smiled sadly as he heard the emotion in John's voice as he  
spoke.

"Well, I don't know if it will make a difference to the way CJ feels  
but if you want I can talk to her."

John sighed. "Normally, I would say no but I don't see I have many  
options left and I have a feeling she just might listen to you. I'd  
really appreciate it, Sir."

Jed squeezed John's arm and released it. Walking towards the door,  
he turned and looked at his Vice-President. "Just don't do anything  
stupid until I've had a chance to talk to her."

"He's willing to give it all up. All he wants is to be a part of  
his baby's life, CJ,"

The President's words were swimming around in CJ's brain as she  
pulled up outside the Observatory. Getting out of the car, she  
walked over to the door and knocked loudly. After a few moments she  
was shown into the living area to wait for him. She sat down on one  
of the numerous leather couches and fiddled with the zipper on her  
purse. Her mind was racing and it was all she could do not to get  
up and start pacing around the room.

"CJ," John greeted her warily as he walked into the room.

"I don't believe you!" CJ started, jumping up from where she was  
sitting. "You….you…." she gestured wildly with her purse before  
getting frustrated with it and tossing it to the side. It bounced  
off the sofa and landed on the floor, spilling its contents onto the  
cream carpet. Both of them stared at it for a moment before John  
started to speak.

"I…I…what?" he asked, curious as to what she had to say.

"You offered to resign," CJ said, dropping to her knees and  
gathering up her belongings. John immediately bent down to help  
her, handing over her cell phone and various cosmetic items that she  
quickly stuffed back into her purse. She rejected the hand he  
offered her and instantly regretted it as she realised at nearly 6  
months pregnant, it wasn't quite as easy to get up from the floor to  
standing as it had been previously. When she was eventually face to  
face with John, her cheeks a little flushed from the exertion and  
the embarrassment, she repeated her statement. "You offered to  
resign."

"Yes, I did," John said simply, offering her a small smile. His  
expression slowly faded as he observed the scowl on CJ's face.

"I went through a press-conference…alone…and admitted to the press,  
not to mention the entire world, that not only was I single and  
pregnant but that father's identity would not be disclosed. Do you  
think I did all that for me? Do you think I want the world to think  
that I'm some kind of cheap slut? I did it for you! I did it so  
that your career wouldn't be ruined, so that you could still have a  
shot at the White House."

"Let's not kid ourselves here CJ. Not naming me as the baby's  
father was as much for your benefit as it was mine!" John paused  
before resuming in a more resigned voice. "I just didn't realise  
you disliked me so much that you couldn't bear the thought of the  
world linking us together." He sat on the couch looking at her. "I  
didn't think you hated me so much that you wouldn't let me claim my  
child."

I don't hate you," CJ spoke softly, "but this baby isn't the product  
of a loving relationship. It's not even a result of any kind of  
relationship. It was a one-night stand, between two people who  
ha….dislike each other."

"I know how the baby was conceived, CJ. I was there…or had you  
forgotten?" John asked dryly.

"What I'm trying to say is I would rather bring this baby up without  
a father, than for he or she to know their father doesn't want  
anything to do with their mother."

John swallowed hard, finding it difficult to keep his emotions under  
control. "Do you really think that's what's best for the baby or  
what's best for you?"

CJ faced John, "what's best for me IS what's best for my baby!"

"Our baby CJ!" John had had enough of her pushing him out. The  
thought of threatening to sue for custody sprang to mind but was  
almost immediately dismissed. He could never do that to her no  
matter how desperate he was to be a part of his child's life. It  
was then he remembered an old saying of his grandmothers you catch  
more flies with honey than with vinegar'. Maybe CJ needed a sweeter  
approach?

John reached out and tentatively touched his hand to CJ's shoulder.  
Encouraged by the fact she didn't flinch at his touch, he gave her  
shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"This is all new to me," he began, his tone soft, "but I think that  
it would be best for our baby to have both of it's parents playing  
an active role in it's life."

As he spoke CJ whipped around and opened her mouth to speak but John  
continued speaking. "Now, I'm not saying we have to be the best of  
friends, and I'm certainly not suggesting that we get together  
romantically but I do think we should at least try to be amicable.  
You and I both want this baby and we both want to do what's right.  
Nothing more, nothing less." He stopped talking and waited silently  
for a few moments, trying to gauge CJ's reaction to his  
words. "Well, what do you think?"

"And we don't have to be overly friendly to one another?" CJ asked.

"God no!" John's eyes grew wide with mock horror and he smiled as he  
caught sight of the smallest of grins on CJ's face.

"And you won't resign?"

"Not if I don't have to," John agreed, relieved at the turn of  
events. If he'd had to give up his quest for the presidency then he  
would have, no questions asked, but he had to admit to being happy  
at not having to go through with it.

"Ok, then," CJ said cautiously, still not entirely convinced she was  
doing the right thing but willing to give it a go. "If we're going  
to do this, there are going to be a few rules. One, we don't tell  
anyone. Not right now anyway. We meet either here or at my place.  
Once the baby's born we'll have to come up with another plan but  
until then that's the way it is. Ok?"

John nodded. "What's number 2?"

"Number 2 is that it's my body. I don't want you clucking over me  
like a mother hen. Besides, any concern you show for me is just  
going to draw attention to us and then we won't have any choice but  
to announce. I don't want it to be forced upon us. When the time  
is right we'll tell everyone but not before."

"Ok," John agreed. "Any more rules?"

"I'm sure there will be, I'll let you know when I think of more,"

"I'll look forward to it," John laughed.

"I'm sure you will," CJ said, smiling softly.

"In that case, I have a rule of my own,"

CJ looked sceptical but nodded her head in a gesture for him to  
continue.

"Well, I guess it's more of a request – I want to be there,"

"Be where?" CJ asked, not understanding where he was going with the  
conversation.

"Be there when the baby is born,"

"Oh," CJ recoiled slightly at the thought but softened when she saw  
the look of hope on John's face. "I'll think about it."

When she finally said goodnight to John later that night and drove  
back to her apartment, she couldn't help but wonder what the future  
held for the three of them. The evening had turned out differently  
to how she had anticipated it would when she had headed over to the  
Observatory earlier that evening and she could only hope that she  
had done the right thing.


	9. Chapter 9

"I've got something to show you,"

"I've got something to show you,"

"That sounds ominous,"

"C'mon, CJ, humor me," John demanded, extending his hand to help a  
grateful CJ up from the couch.

In the few weeks since she and John had started their truce, they  
had made an effort to meet up at least three nights a week.  
Originally, the plan had been to meet at each other's places on  
alternate visits. They had soon come to realise the flaw in their  
plan however when John had turned up at her modest one-bedroom  
apartment, with a black suburban and 3 Secret Service agents in tow.  
Not wanting to incite any more curtain-twitching than was necessary,  
CJ reluctantly agreed that it would be best if they restricted their  
visits to the Observatory.

It had been strained at first, neither of them knowing what benefits  
their new relationship granted them, but eventually they settled  
into an easy pattern. Take-out featured heavily in their evenings,  
each of them proving to be hopeless in the kitchen and CJ having  
almost constant cravings for Moo Shu anything. Over their dinner  
they would talk about work and family, both of them showing a  
genuine interest in getting to know a little bit more about their  
child's other parent and then once dinner was finished they would  
settle down to watch some tv – John in his armchair and CJ on the  
couch.

It was with trepidation that she followed John up the sweeping, oak  
staircase to the first floor of the building. Thanks to the baby  
pressing against her bladder, she was more than familiar with John's  
bathroom but she had never gone into any of the other rooms upstairs.

"Where are you taking me?" CJ asked, as they passed various closed  
doors going off the long corridor.

"Patience is a virtue," John chided good-naturedly as he stopped  
outside a door halfway along the hall. "This is my bedroom,"

CJ raised an eyebrow and placed a hand on her bump.

"Thanks for the offer but I'm not exactly desirable in my present  
state,"

John stood for a moment and contemplated the vision before him.  
CJ's normally slender frame had filled out in all the right places  
during her pregnancy. Her cheeks had a healthy glow that was a  
pleasant change to the chronically tired look she had been sporting  
in her first trimester. A fleeting glance over her body showed John  
that her breasts had more than doubled in size and were now  
straining slightly at the material that confined them. As he  
watched, CJ rubbed her swollen stomach in a gentle circular motion,  
a faint smile on her face. John was surprised himself to find that  
he had never seen her look so sexy

"John!,"

His attention snapped back to the moment in hand and he could tell  
from the look on CJ's face that she could guess what he had been  
thinking. He raised his arms in mock surrender.

"I'm not suggesting anything so you can stop with the death glare,"  
he said, lowering his hands and turning around so that he faced  
another closed door. "I just wanted you to see how close my room  
was to this,"

Turning the doorknob, he gave the door a gentle push and they both  
watched as it slowly opened and the room revealed itself.

CJ gasped as she took a step over the threshold and into the room.  
The walls, painted a light cobalt blue, had a cowboy motif dotted  
around, while the rug in the centre of the spacious room, was in the  
outline of a horse. CJ walked further into the room, taking in  
everything as she went. She stopped in front of the mahogany crib  
and ran her hand over the smooth, dark wood.

"It was mine when I was a baby," John pointed out softly from his  
position in the doorway.

CJ took a few more moments to look around before she turned to face  
John. They stood facing one another in silence for several minutes  
before CJ spoke.

"What if it's a girl?" she asked, sweeping her arm out to emphasise  
the distinctly boyish décor.

"Aha!" John said, instantly pleased with himself, "I've already  
thought of that," and he reached into a drawer in one of the small  
units and handed something to CJ.

She laughed when she saw what it was, the smallest Stetson she had  
ever seen, pink and shimmering with rhinestones.

"You can take the man out of Texas…." CJ laughed.

"I thought I'd start early, teaching the baby about its Texan  
roots," John winked at her.

"Oh, John," CJ sighed, her laughter turning to tears.

"Hey," he spoke gently, reaching out his hand and rubbing her arm to  
comfort her, already used to her hormonal mood changes yet still not  
sure if their new relationship allowed him the right to physically  
comfort her. "I know that you probably won't want me to keep the  
baby overnight. I just…wanted to feel a part of the whole  
experience. To be prepared."

"That's just it," CJ hiccupped, trying in vain to control the steady  
flow of tears down her cheeks, "I'm not prepared at all. I just  
haven't had the time and I haven't got anything…..not even a box of  
diapers,"

As the tears flowed more freely, John walked over, wrapping his arms  
around her and pulling her close. She stiffened slightly at his  
touch but after a moment she buried her head in his sweater and  
allowed his strong arms to hold her tightly.

After a few minutes, her crying slowed to small sobs and she became  
more aware of John's closeness and his hand rubbing slow circles on  
her back. Feeling uncomfortable, she pulled away, taking a step  
back as if to remove herself entirely from the situation.

"Ummmm, thanks," she said, still sniffling slightly as she dried her  
eyes with the heel of her hand.

"Don't worry about it," John said, "I mean it, seriously don't worry  
about it. Getting upset about things isn't good for you or the  
baby. We'll get everything sorted out. In fact, why don't I take  
you shopping next week and we can get everything organised?"

"I appreciate it, John, but don't you think that when the Press find  
out that the Vice-President and the White House Press Secretary went  
shopping for baby things, that our secret would be well and truly  
out?"

"I guess when you put it that way…." John nodded slowly, a little  
disappointed. The thought of shopping together for things for their  
baby made the whole situation feel less like two strangers thrown  
together and more like parents.

"Now that I think about it, how did you get all of this here without  
arousing anyone's suspicions? Weren't the people at the store  
curious as to why you were buying it?"

"To be honest with you, CJ, I didn't go myself. Even I know that  
would have been a bit obvious. Mikey's wife is pregnant so I asked  
them to go get the stuff for me. Probably one of the stranger  
operations he's been sent on since being on my detail," John laughed.

CJ nodded in agreement and made a mental note to thank the young  
agent for helping them out.

"Seriously, though, whatever happens, next week we start getting  
organised. I don't want you getting yourself upset about it again.  
Agreed?"

"Agreed," CJ said unsure of whether she found John's concern  
reassuring or annoying. CJ took one last look around the nursery  
before John shut the door behind them and they walked back down  
stairs.

When John reached the bottom, CJ called out to him and he quickly  
ran back up the stairs to meet her halfway.

"What wrong? What's happened?" he asked, frantically searching for  
some sign of premature labour.

"Nothing's wrong, per se," CJ said, looking a bit sheepish at  
causing such a commotion, " I was just wondering…….is there any more  
Moo Shu?"


	10. Chapter 10

"What the hell happened to you

"What the hell happened to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," John said, from the doorway, "I go out of town for a week  
and I come back and you're…you're…you're HUGE!"

"Gee thanks, John," CJ frowned, placing her hand on her  
stomach, "That's exactly what a pregnant woman wants to  
hear. You're HUGE'! You couldn't have said You've blossomed and  
you're positively glowing' or I've never seen you look more  
beautiful'?"

"You do look beautiful, CJ. I just got a bit of a surprise that's  
all. I mean, he's really growing isn't he?" John reached out  
hesitantly, waiting for CJ's permission before he touched his palm  
to her round belly.

"Don't you mean she'?" CJ challenged good-naturedly, moving his  
hand to the left side of her stomach where the baby was kicking.

"If you say so," John laughed, too amazed by the fluttering beneath  
his fingers to react to her teasing. "Can you believe in a little  
over a month we're going to be meeting this little one?"

"I know, it'll be incredible," CJ smiled, absently covering John's  
hand with her own as the baby's kicks became more frequent. "On the  
other hand, I'm not sure how much more of this pregnancy I can take  
if I get any bigger. Josh has already taken it upon himself to  
change my Secret Service code name to Moby Dick."

John laughed but stopped quickly when he saw CJ's pout. "He didn't  
really, did he?"

"Well, no, he didn't," CJ admitted, "but he threatened to."

"Well, that's just not nice, is it?" John mocked, finding it hard to  
keep a straight face.

"Don't mess with me, John, you're not exactly in my good books,  
remember?" CJ warned, narrowing her eyes and glaring at him. "And  
anyway, it's thanks to you that I presently resemble an Orca."

"Hey! Not only did I help in the conception of this already much  
loved baby, but as far as I can tell, I gave you a real good time!"

"Don't remind me," CJ groaned.

"Was it that terrible?" John asked, feeling more than a little  
wounded.

"No, I mean, seriously don't remind me! It's been 8 months and I'm  
at, and have been for some time, a particular period in my pregnancy  
where…well, you know," her words trailed off as the blush rose in  
her cheeks.

"I don't…what are you talking about?" John asked, perplexed.

CJ muttered something and John had to ask her to repeat herself.

"I'm horny, dammit!" CJ announced, rather more loudly than she had  
intended.

John found himself at a loss for words but he was saved by a knock  
on the door as Josh burst in.

"CJ, Leo needs us in his office in five minutes," he said, nodding  
his head in acknowledgement of John. "Mr Vice-President."

"Josh," John mirrored his gesture.

"Well, I'll meet you there," Josh said, sensing the tension in the  
room. "Oh, and CJ?"

CJ paused from gathering together her notes and turned to face  
Josh. "Yeah?"

"If you need to satisfy your need, you know where I am," he grinned  
as it took CJ a few moments to realize that he had heard her  
outburst.

"Get out, NOW!"

John watched as Josh disappeared and the door shut behind him.  
Turning to CJ, he grimaced.

"Wow! _That_ was embarrassing."

CJ could only nod, unsure as to whether he was referring to Josh's  
words or to her own little blush-inducing outburst. She was having  
a hard time coming to terms with the fact that she had just  
announced her sexual frustrations to not only John, but it would  
appear everyone in the outer offices heard also.

"Anyway," CJ began, breaking her silence but not the tension, "I'd  
better get to that meeting and you," she said, pointing at  
John, "had better go do some Vice-Presidential things before someone  
puts two and two together."

"You mean it's not the Vice-President's duty to knock-up the  
President's Press Secretary," John deadpanned, "They really should  
outline that in the handbook."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry, I'm sure the book will be well and truly  
rewritten as soon as our little scenario becomes public knowledge,"  
CJ sighed.

John nodded, only too aware of the situation. They stood in silence  
for a moment before CJ snapped out of her worries and began to shoo  
him out of her office.

"Scram, I've got to get to that meeting before Josh tells everyone I  
propositioned him," CJ said as they reached the door.

"You know he's told them already," John assured her.

"Yeah, I know, but Josh has a tendency to elaborate so God only  
knows what he's told them I was up to."

John laughed. "Good luck," he whispered before making his way down  
the corridor.

CJ watched him as he walked away and instantly scolded herself for  
admiring what she saw. That was one mistake she wouldn't –  
couldn't - repeat.

"Hello?"

"So, I've been thinking," the voice on the other end of the phone  
paused before continuing, "about this condition' you mentioned  
earlier,"

CJ felt the blush rise in her cheeks.

"Yes?" CJ asked cautiously.

"I've got a proposition for you,"

"Oh John," she groaned, "please don't say you're going to offer to  
rectify the situation for me,"

"God no!" John answered quickly.

A little too quickly for CJ's liking.

"Are you saying you find me repulsive because let me tell you, pal…"

John cut her off in the middle of her tirade. "No, I didn't mean  
that I don't want to….well, I don't want to…but not for the reason  
you think. It's the last thing we need, right?"

CJ mumbled in agreement, only slightly satisfied that he wasn't  
inferring that she was unattractive in her current condition.

"So, I was thinking," he continued, "you're taking maternity leave  
in two weeks, am I right?"

"Yeah,"

"Well, why don't you come out to the ranch for a few days? You can  
relax by the pool, read a few books, generally just pamper  
yourself. It's going to be your last chance for a long time once  
this little one arrives. And," John added, lowering his voice, "it  
might just take your mind off of….well, you know…what you were  
talking about."

CJ sat and thought about it for a moment. It would be nice to get  
out of DC for a while and she could do with recharging her batteries  
a little before she launched herself into motherhood.

"Ok," CJ said, beginning to nod. "I'll get Carol to look into  
flights."

They ended their phone call and CJ sank back into her chair. As  
appealing as a break sounded she couldn't help thinking this was  
pushing the boundaries too far. She and John seemed to have just  
reached a happy medium and the last thing she wanted to do was mess  
it up with her raging hormones.


	11. Chapter 11

CJ awoke to the smell of bacon wafting underneath her bedroom door

CJ awoke to the smell of bacon wafting underneath her bedroom door.  
She lay still for a few moments, savoring the fact that for the  
first time, in what seemed like forever, she had nobody to please  
but herself. And John, of course but he had already made it very  
clear that despite their differences', he was going to make sure  
that the last few weeks of her pregnancy were as comfortable as  
possible.

Even though she had only been away from DC for less than 24 hours,  
CJ already felt completely relaxed, and she decided that the  
pleading she had resorted to with her doctor had been well worth the  
humiliation. Abbey, too, had thought that flying so late in her  
pregnancy was risky but she had eventually given CJ the go ahead  
when CJ had promised to call at the first sign of any problems.

The flight had been uneventful and she had arrived in Austin the  
previous evening. John had sent a black suburban to meet her. They  
were trying to be as discreet as possible, and they had both agreed  
that John meeting her in person would only make the six-foot Press  
Secretary with a bump the size of Vesuvius even more conspicuous.

Finally, the urge to pee was the deciding factor for CJ and she  
struggled up from the bed and made her way through to the bathroom.  
When she emerged a few moments later, having splashed some water on  
her face and brushed her teeth, she seriously considered going back  
to bed and snuggling under the comforter.

A loud clatter, followed by a string of curses, came from the  
direction of the kitchen and CJ hurried through.

"Are you alright?" she asked, when she saw John crouched down in the  
middle of the kitchen picking up pieces of shattered china.

"My mother's," he explained, nodding his head to indicate the broken  
teapot as he stood and placed the pieces on the counter. "Watch  
your feet, there are still lots of shards there. I'll go get a  
broom."

When he got back, CJ was on her knees sorting through the  
mess. "What are you doing? You shouldn't be down on the floor in  
your condition." He sounded panicked as he rushed to her side and  
CJ couldn't help laughing.

"John, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm not an invalid,"  
she made to stand and then stopped, a blush rising in her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" John asked, noticing the flush on her face.

"I'm..." she took a deep breath and sighed before continuing, "…  
stuck."

John smirked and placed his hands firmly on his hips. "Well, I'd  
offer to help but as you keep reminding me, you're not an invalid."

"Okay, shut up and help me up," she groaned as he grabbed hold of  
her outstretched hands and carefully eased her to feet.

"I can put up with the indignity of doctors prodding me and  
examining me where only a select few have gone before. I can even,  
at a push, accept the teasing for falling asleep in public places  
and the untimely gas,"

John wrinkled his nose at her last comment, having experienced it  
first hand and she slapped his arm.

"I cannot," she continued, "believe I am incapable of doing such a  
simple thing as standing up unaided. This baby has got to put in an  
appearance soon before I have no dignity left at all," she moaned.

"You think you've got no dignity now, just wait until you're  
briefing the President with spit-up on your suit or when you're  
on Capital Beat' and you've leaked through your blouse or…"

"Ok, that's enough," CJ said, slapping his arm again in an attempt  
to silence him.

"So," he said, changing the subject before CJ had the opportunity to  
hit him again, "you'll let me help you this week without assuming  
that I think you are weak and incapable? I'm not going to be  
clichéd and say I wish I could go through this instead of you'  
because I don't. I think it's incredible the way you've coped. I  
also understand that at eight and a half months pregnant, things  
aren't so easy for you, I just want to help out a little."

John stopped and noticed the tears in her eyes.

"Hormones," they chorused.

CJ laughed and wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her robe. "You  
really can be sweet sometimes," CJ said softly and John  
shrugged. "Anyway, are you going to offer me some breakfast or do  
you expect the mother of your child to scavenge for food?" CJ  
asked, eyeing the feast laid out on the counter. She placed a hand  
on her stomach and tried to massage away the niggle she felt at the  
base of her belly.

"I think the baby's hungry, too," she announced to John, as she continued to rub  
her stomach. CJ was enjoying eating for two, especially the way the  
extra pounds had enhanced her figure and her closet of Armani and  
Vera Wang gowns was the furthest thing from her mind as she watched  
John pile her plate high with goodies.

"I was thinking," John called over his shoulder as he busied himself  
at the counter fixing their breakfast, "do you want to join me for a  
swim later? It'll be relaxing for you I would imagine,"

CJ smiled, "It would be nice to feel weightless for a while, that's  
for sure," and they both laughed as they settled down to eat.

"CJ!" John called from the pool, "it's gonna be dark before you put  
in an appearance,"

"I'll be out in a minute. I just need to…" her voice trailed off  
and John gave up, diving under the water to swim a few laps of the  
generous pool. After several minutes, he reached the far end for  
the third time and stopped to look for CJ.

"Quite the athlete, aren't we?" CJ teased, from the other end of the  
pool where she stood. John wiped the chlorinated water from his  
eyes and stared at her. Dressed in a black one-piece that clearly  
outlined her pregnant figure, her hair hanging loose around her  
shoulders, John couldn't help thinking she was the most beautiful  
thing he had ever seen. His body certainly thought so, and he  
reached his hand into the elastic of his swim-shorts to allow a  
little more room for his condition'. He silently thanked God that  
he was in the water and CJ couldn't see what her body was doing to  
his.

CJ backed down the steps and let out a dramatic sigh as she lowered  
herself into the water.

"Mmmmmm," CJ sighed happily. Since waking up, she'd had a dull ache  
in her back and water felt so good. John watched as she allowed  
herself to float. After a few moments she became aware of him  
watching her and she swam over to him. When she reached him, she  
mirrored his action of leaning against the side, head resting  
against the cool tile.

"You're very quiet all of a sudden," CJ noted several minutes  
later. She smiled as he reached a hand out under the water to  
caress her stomach and she turned towards him to give him better  
access. She was used to him touching her belly and no longer  
flinched at his touch, realizing it was his only way of connecting  
with the baby.

He hesitated for a second before moving his hand up to gently cup  
her breast. CJ gasped at the feel of his hand and suddenly his lips  
were on hers, kissing her softly. She got lost in the moment but as  
he tried to part her lips with his tongue, she pulled back quickly,  
wading over to the steps and hauling herself out of the water.

"No, John," CJ said, her words mixed with tears as she rushed into  
the house, leaving John behind.

She was already stripping off her clothes as she entered her room  
and she left them in a pile on the floor as she moved to the  
bathroom and locked the door behind her. She could hear John  
shouting for her over her muted cries but she couldn't bring herself  
to answer him. Everything had been going so well, why did he have  
to spoil it?

"CJ?" John called, knocking gently on the door.

"Go away!"

"CJ, I'm sorry. I really am. I misjudged the whole situation.  
It's just you looked so sexy in your swimsuit and I've never seen  
what the pregnancy's done to your body in such detail before and it  
had quite an effect on me…I'm sorry. Please come out,"

CJ could hear the pain in his voice and the tears welled up in her  
eyes again.

"Could you arrange a car for me please?" she asked, her voice  
trembling, a mixture of emotions coursing through her.

"CJ…"

"Please, John,"

"Okay, if that's what you want. I'll be downstairs,"

She waited until she heard the door close behind him before  
unlocking the bathroom door and walking over to the bed. Sitting  
down, she noticed he had picked up her swimming things and set them  
down on the armchair.

She was going over everything in her head again when she felt the  
dampness beneath her. Standing to move what she thought was a wet  
towel, she felt a gush of warm fluid between her legs.

No, not now, she thought as a wave of pain swept over her.

"John!"


	12. Chapter 12

"You did real good,"

"You did real good,"

CJ reluctantly looked up from the infant sleeping soundly in her  
arms. She smiled when she saw John standing in the doorway.

"Hey," she whispered, motioning with her head for him to come into  
the room.

He walked over slowly and hesitantly sat down in the chair by her  
bedside. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," she replied, but when John cocked his head questioningly she  
sighed. "Tired and sore, if you want the truth but look, John.  
Look what we did,"

"What YOU did," he countered, his voice full of admiration for the  
mother of his child. He reached out with both hands. "May I?"

"Sure," CJ carefully handed the sleeping bundle to John, wincing  
slightly at the discomfort the action caused.

"Are you ok?" he asked, accepting the baby and holding it close.

"John, think about where the baby came from and accept that I'm  
going to be in pain for a few days. It was worth it though, more  
than worth it."

"He's beautiful isn't he?" John murmured, entranced as he watched  
his son breathing.

"He really is," CJ smiled. "No wonder you think so though, he's  
your spitting image."

"You really think so?" John squinted, examining his son's features  
carefully.

"You can't see it?"

"He's got my hair color, and lots of it," John pointed out, pushing  
back the tiny cotton hat to reveal dark locks of soft hair.

"Not just his hair. His nose, his chin, even his eyebrows are just  
like yours. And believe me, I've already experienced his temper,"

"I think both of us can take responsibility for that trait," John  
laughed, stiffening as the baby stirred in his arms. He looked down  
and found himself staring into his son's eyes. "Can he see me?"

"I don't think so, he won't be able to focus for weeks yet,"

"He's only focused on one thing at the moment," John said, as the  
baby made sucking motions with his mouth. "You definitely need your  
mom for this, baby boy," John leaned down and gently kissed his  
son's forehead. Standing up he placed the baby in CJ's arms. "Do  
you want me to go?" he asked, as CJ began to unbutton her nightdress.

"If it makes you feel uncomfortable,"

"No. No, I'm fine with it if you are,"

CJ didn't answer but instead gently rubbed her nipple against the  
baby's lips until he latched on and began to feed hungrily. The  
three of them sat quietly for a few minutes, John mesmerized by the  
scene before him. Less than 24 hours previously, both he and CJ had  
been at his ranch awaiting the baby's arrival and now here he was.

CJ spoke quietly. "I know this is only the second time I've fed  
him, but I can't tell you how natural it feels,"

John smiled. They sat in silence again, the only sound in the room  
coming from the feeding baby. After several minutes, John sighed  
and spoke. "About what happened…at the ranch…between us…I never  
meant…"

"John, not now," CJ pleaded quietly, "Let today be a good day,"

He nodded. "Ok. I think maybe I should…"

"Yeah, maybe you should," CJ agreed.

"I'll come back later?" he asked, walking towards the door.

"I think I might try to get some sleep if that's ok? I'm pretty  
tired,"

"Sure," he managed a smile. "CJ?"

"Uhuh?" she asked, distracted slightly as she eased the baby from  
her breast and sat him up, placing a hand under his chin as she  
rubbed circles on his back to wind him.

"Has he got a name?"

"Yeah. Yeah, he does. His name is Joel Patrick."

"Joel. I like it," he said. "Sleep well, both of you,"

"Here,"

CJ accepted the powder from John and sprinkled it liberally onto  
Joel's bare bottom. Taking his ankles between her fingers, she  
raised his legs and placed a diaper beneath him, quickly making  
short work of fastening it.

"You're getting pretty good at that," John commented, as she pressed  
shut the studs on the baby's one-piece.

"After the first couple of times, I think it was imperative for your  
carpet that I get it right," CJ laughed.

John cringed, remembering the day Joel and CJ came home from the  
hospital. Both his and CJ's attempt at changing the baby's diaper  
had ended with the diaper falling off and Joel showing his  
displeasure all over the floor.

"And it only took a week," CJ continued, kissing her son's feet  
before slipping on a pair of cotton socks. "Don't you just love the  
way he smells. Mmmmmmm, I could eat him all up,"

"I don't think that would be a good idea," John scooped the baby  
into his arms and cuddled him close. Walking out of the make-shift  
nursery, he made his way down the hall and into the living area, all  
the while whispering to his son who was quickly dozing off. John  
laid him in his Moses basket and covered him with a blanket.

"Is he sleeping?" CJ asked, coming into the room and sitting down on  
the sofa behind John.

"Like a baby," John answered, straightening up from his crouched  
position on the floor and moving over to sit beside CJ. "So, what  
did Abbey say when you spoke to her?"

Both he and CJ had decided it would be best if they kept the birth a  
secret for a few days, just until they both got used to the idea of  
having a newborn to look after. Luckily for them, the hospital had  
kept to the hospital/patient confidentiality clause and so the press  
was none the wiser. It also meant that no-one back in D.C. knew  
that CJ had given birth and CJ hadn't been relishing her inevitable  
conversation with Abigail Bartlet.

"She was pissed," CJ yawned, leaning back into the sofa and rubbing  
her eyes with the back of her hand. "She agreed, though, that it  
was probably best that we keep it quiet for another week or so, just  
until he's a little bit older for traveling. Then it's going to be  
interesting. The questions from the press are going to be non-  
stop. Why were you in Texas?' Why did you keep you son's birth a  
secret?' Oh my God, your son looks exactly like the Vice-  
President!'"

"Technically, CJ, that last one's a statement, not a question.  
Also, he doesn't look exactly like me. I've been studying him  
and he definitely has your lips."

"Oh well then, we definitely won't have a problem then," CJ mocked.

"It'll be fine, seriously. We'll think of something. It's not  
going to be a problem, CJ, I promise,"

CJ plumped the cushion and rested her head against it, closing her  
eyes. "I won't take any bets on that," she murmured.


	13. Chapter 13

"Welcome home, Joel," CJ swung open her front door and stepped in,

"Welcome home, Joel," CJ swung open her front door and stepped in,  
moving to the side so that the cab driver could bring in her  
luggage. He placed it on the floor in her front hall and CJ paid  
him, thanking him as she shut the door behind him. She walked  
through to the living room and settled herself down in the armchair  
by the window. "This is where we live. Now, it might not be as big  
or as fancy as your Daddy's house and it might take you a little  
time to settle in but I promise you, we're gonna be just fine," CJ  
smiled. Joel was staring up at her, his eyes wide, completely  
oblivious to what she was saying.

"You just get more adorable by the day, don't you?" she said,  
lifting him up and kissing him repeatedly. "Let's put you down for  
a nap so that I can put our things away."

Ten minutes later, after changing Joel and settling him down to  
sleep, CJ was in her bedroom unpacking. The one suitcase she had  
initially taken to Texas had been joined by two similarly large  
cases John had loaned her. One was filled with maternity clothes  
that she had taken with her. The second case was full of clothes  
for Joel. Joel's premature arrival had taken them both by surprise  
and John had gone out the day after to stock up on baby essentials,  
including a mountain of baby clothes. The third suitcase contained  
new clothes for herself. Thanks to the long walks around John's  
ranch, with Joel in his stroller, after only two weeks CJ was almost  
back to her pre-pregnancy size. On the bottom at least. Her top  
half had gone up two cup sizes but CJ wasn't complaining as she laid  
the clothes on the bed, examining her new figure in the mirror.

"Not bad," she mused, turning so that she could see herself from  
different angles. Her thoughts immediately turned to John and the  
incessant teasing she had received from him over her new buxom  
physique. They hadn't talked about what had happened between them  
in the swimming pool before Joel's birth and rather than an  
awkwardness between them, CJ found that they had become closer over  
the past weeks. She found that she had enjoyed sharing the  
parenting role. Of course, they were still arguing over something  
at least once a day but John had been a welcome help with the new  
baby. CJ wondered, not for the first time, just how she was going  
to cope now it was just her and Joel.

As if John had read her mind, her cell began to ring. She grabbed  
it out of her purse and flicked it open.

"Hey, Cowboy,"

"Hey, Ms. Parton," John countered, using his new nickname for her  
and CJ laughed. "How are the two of you doing?"

"Well, Joel's down for his nap after a grueling day of eating and  
pooping and I'm about to have a bath and go to bed. We've got a big  
day tomorrow."

"Oh yeah, what time are you heading over?"

"Abbey called when we got off the plane. She's sending a car for us  
at 10am."

John let out a low whistle. "His first trip to the White House.  
You do realize that our son has better political contacts than most  
of the Republican Party?"

"I know," CJ laughed.

There was silence for a few moments before John spoke again. "Are  
you still okay with the no photograph' rule? I mean, most new  
mothers can't wait to show off their baby,"

"John, you and I both know that the minute the Press get a picture  
of him that the cat's out the bag," CJ groaned, "You should have  
seen us at the airport. I had him wrapped up like a mummy so that  
nobody could get a good look at him,"

"It's not gonna be that simple forever, CJ," John said, his voice  
low.

"I know," CJ sighed, "but it's what we have to do right now. When  
we have to, we'll announce but until then I'm not gonna go out of my  
way to give them the rope to hang us with."

Joel's whimpers filtered through the baby monitor and CJ listened  
carefully for a moment. The soft whimpers soon became loud cries  
and CJ stood up, heading to the nursery with the cell phone still to  
her ear.

"Is Joel crying?" John asked, hearing the noise in the background as  
CJ reached the nursery.

"Yeah, he's hungry. Look, John, I'd better go. When will you be  
back in DC?"

"Next Tuesday. I have a few things I need to do here before I can  
head back. Will you be able to bring him to the Observatory?"

"I'm sure we can work something out," CJ said, shocking herself  
again at how much John had become such a welcome part of her life,  
exactly what she hadn't wanted. She rubbed her hand in slow circles  
on Joel's tummy in an attempt to placate the baby.

"Kiss Joel for me,"

"I will," CJ replied and flicked her cell shut.

CJ felt like an undercover spy. The black suburban had picked her  
up just as Abbey had arranged and now she and Joel were being  
ushered into the White House via a back entrance. As they reached  
the Residence, the door swung open and Abbey appeared, scooping Joel  
out of CJ's arms.

"He's stunning," Abbey turned and walked into the living area,  
followed closely by CJ. Abbey settled herself on the sofa and began  
examining Joel as only a doctor would.

"I haven't broken him yet," CJ joked, but her insecurities shone  
through her joviality and Abbey picked up on it immediately.

"I have no doubts about your mothering abilities," Abbey said  
seriously, still staring down at Joel as he slept. "After all,  
you've taken care of the boys these past few years," Abbey looked up  
as CJ chuckled. She frowned as she ran a careful eye over the  
svelte Press Secretary. "Eugh, I hate you!"

CJ stopped laughing and stared at Abbey, startled by her sudden  
outburst. "Excuse me?"

"You gave birth, what, two weeks ago? Already you've got your  
figure back. You look fabulous!"

CJ breathed a sigh of relief and sat down next to Abbey. "Thank  
you."

"I won't tell you how long it took me to get my figure back after  
Elizabeth. I still don't think my body's quite recovered from Zoey."

"Are you kidding? You're the sexiest First Lady the White House has  
ever seen. If you don't believe me, just step outside and ask any  
man you meet. You would never know you'd had three children."

"Well, thank you we'd better stop this. I think we just founded the  
CJ and Abbey mutual appreciation society. Seriously, though, how  
are you feeling?"

"I feel great. Tired, but great. Oh, one thing though. Why didn't  
you warn me about the pain of cracked nipples? I think sheer  
euphoria got me through the first few days but he's a hungry boy and  
I'm suffering for it now," CJ groaned, a pained expression on her  
face.

"Its one of the joys of motherhood," Abbey sympathized, thinking  
back to when she was in the same condition.

"There's a cream you can get to soothe them that won't affect Joel.  
Remind me to write down the name of it for you before you leave. In  
all honesty, CJ, the best thing for them is cabbage leaves. Pop a  
leaf in each cup of your bra and you'll feel a lot better."

CJ frowned at the thought of vegetation in her underwear but willing  
to do anything for a little relief, she made a mental note to stop  
by the grocery store.

"How's John," Abbey asked.

CJ sat quietly for a moment, reaching out and taking Joel's tiny  
sock clad foot in her hand. Her son stirred at her touch and she  
rubbed his foot gently, watching as he settled back into a peaceful  
sleep.

"CJ?" Abbey probed, when after a few minutes CJ still hadn't  
answered her.

"He's been…oh, Abbey, he's been great. These past few months and  
since Joel was born, he's been fantastic." CJ omitted the incident  
in the pool, not wanting to give Abbey any more ammunition than was  
required.

Apparently she had more than enough anyway.

"Do you think there could be anything between the two of you?"

"Between CJ and whom?" Jed asked as he breezed into the room.

CJ moved to stand but Jed motioned for her to stay seated. Instead,  
he walked over to where she was sitting and leaned down, enveloping  
her in his strong embrace.

"Wonderful to see you, CJ," Jed said as she pulled away and turned  
his attention to his wife. "And this young gentleman must be  
Joel." He gestured to Abbey to hand over the sleeping child. As he  
took him into his arms, Joel awoke and stared up at him, still too  
young to be able to focus on him properly. He responded to the deep  
voice that was now speaking to him though and Jed touched his hand  
to Joel's. The baby latched on, holding tightly to the older man's  
finger. When the President looked up from the baby, CJ noticed  
tears glistening in his eyes.

"Sir?"

Jed looked at her sheepishly. "After three children and a  
grandchild this still gets to me," he said. "And a boy, CJ. You've  
done us proud. I have so much I want to teach him…if you'll allow  
me."

"I wouldn't expect anything less," CJ smiled, "I was hoping both you  
and Abbey would be his honorary grandparents since both John's and  
my parents are…" She didn't finish the sentence because when she  
looked across at Abbey, she too had tears pooling in her eyes. CJ  
felt a lump form in her throat and she swallowed hard.

"Now you've got me started," CJ choked out.

They all laughed, wiping away tears and settled down to general chit-  
chat about Joel and how CJ was enjoying motherhood.

Ten minutes later there was a knock and a shock of wild hair  
appeared around the side of the door.

"Is it okay if we visit for a while?" Josh asked, pushing open the  
door to reveal Toby and Sam standing behind him.

The President glanced at CJ who happily nodded. "Come on in,  
fellas" he said, his voice barely more than a whisper, not wanting  
to disturb Joel who had fallen asleep in his arms. "I hate to tell  
you, Sam," the President began as the three men entered the  
room, "but there's a new heartbreaker in town."

Sam laughed but Josh stuck out his bottom lip in a childish  
pout. "I thought I was the heartbreaker," he whined, causing Toby  
to roll his eyes and smack his hand off the top of Josh's head.

"Of course you are," CJ said, holding back a chuckle as she stood  
and gave each of them a hug. Toby held onto her for the longest  
time.

"I've missed you," he murmured in her ear and she smiled.

"I've missed you, too," she admitted. "I've missed you all," she  
added before Josh began whining again. "Hey, where's Leo," she  
asked.

Toby pulled back from their hug and squeezed her hand. "Margaret  
refused to let us all leave the West Wing. She's got him chained to  
his desk."

CJ laughed although part of her was sad that their group wasn't  
complete. Unsurprisingly Toby sensed her disappointment. "He really  
was sorry. He said he'd ring you later."

CJ brightened. "Ok then."

"Can I hold him?" asked Sam who was standing next to the President.

"Sure," CJ smiled as she watched the transition, the President  
fussing and making sure Sam was supporting Joel's head.

"So…Joel, huh?" Josh said, and CJ turned around to face him. "You  
didn't like any of the names I came up with then?"

"Josh, I was not calling my son after a clownfish. A cartoon  
clownfish at that."

"Okay, so maybe Nemo was a bit of a no-no but you have to admit my  
other suggestions were good."

"No, Josh. Alvin, Simon and Theodore were all stupid suggestions.  
You excelled yourself though when you suggested Cartman,"

"Do you do anything other than watch cartoons?" Toby asked and Josh  
shrugged.

"Here," Sam said, gently placing Joel in Josh's arms. "At least he  
might be on the same wavelength as you."

""Aw, he's kinda cute isn't he?" Josh cooed, staring down at  
Joel. "CJ? He's got awfully long eyelashes. Are you sure he's not  
a she?"

"Josh! Cut it out," Abbey scolded. "He's got beautiful lashes."

"I was just saying," Josh mumbled. Joel scrunched up his face,  
squirming slightly in Josh's arms.

CJ and Abbey looked at one another, neither one of them willing to  
ruin their fun by telling Josh what Joel was up to.

After a few more minutes of cooing at the baby, Josh sniffed and  
wrinkled his nose. "CJ, your baby stinks,"

CJ extricated Joel from Josh's arms. "He doesn't stink…well, he  
does but…that's the second mean thing you've said about my baby."

"I didn't mean it," Josh said to the group of people who were  
standing frowning at him.

Abbey grabbed Joel's diaper bag and CJ followed her through to the  
bathroom.

"Sit down, guys," Jed ordered.

The three men sat down on the sofa.

"Firstly, Josh? Never, ever, EVER insult a woman's child. You're  
lucky CJ didn't gouge your eyes out."

Josh gulped and nodded.

"Secondly, we have to come up with some kind of plan for when the  
press find out about Joel's father. You've seen the boy, he's a  
dead ringer for John. Now, I trust CJ and if she thinks it's best  
not to say anything then that's fine by me. But we have to be there  
to support her when the time comes. I'm not all that sure that  
she'll be thinking clearly when it comes down to it. So you'll  
help?" Jed looked from Toby to Sam who were both nodding in  
agreement. He turned to Josh.

"Josh?"

"Ummm sure…but I still don't see what was wrong with Cartman Cregg."


	14. Chapter 14

"Cute kid,"

"Cute kid,"

"Huh?" John looked up from the file he was reading and saw the  
Congressman looking at the photograph of Joel. CJ had given it to  
him a few weeks ago after he had returned from Texas. Joel was  
lying in his crib, dressed all in white, looking up at the camera,  
his eyes shining. John knew his son was too young to be smiling but  
he liked to think that he was doing just that. A smile just for  
him.

He put the file down on his desk and stood, walking over to the  
Congressman. "Yeah, he's really cute," John agreed, taking the  
picture from him and placing it back on the desk.

"Whose is it?"

"HE," John answered, emphasizing the word, "is my so…sister's little  
boy." John hated lying. Hated having to deny his son. He wanted  
to show off to everyone, tell them that the beautiful boy in the  
photograph was his son but he knew that it was out of the question.  
In fact, he was finding it nigh-on impossible to even get a quiet  
moment to spend with Joel. After spending longer than intended at  
the ranch, he had a lot to catch up on and John had found himself  
busy with work night and day.

But this was something John was determined to rectify. "So,  
Congressman Miller," John said, ushering the Congressman to the  
door, "I'm sure I can put my faith in you to bring me those five  
votes."

"Absolutely, Mr Vice-President."

John shook the Congressman's hand before subtly guiding him out the  
room and shutting the door firmly behind him.

He quickly walked back over to his desk, pulling out his cell as he  
did so. He punched in the buttons and sat down, waiting for the  
call to connect. "Hi…we need to talk. Can you come over?"

"Mr Vice-President, I don't appreciate being at your beck and call.  
Don't you know I have important things to attend to?" CJ announced  
loudly as John opened his office door to her.

"As do I, Ms Cregg," John answered seriously, as she swept past him  
into the room. He motioned for his assistant to hold all calls and  
closed the door, turning to see CJ settling herself on his  
couch. "You do realize, CJ," he began, joining her on the  
sofa, "that my staff knows about Joel's parentage. You didn't have  
to make a scene for their benefit,"

"It wasn't for their benefit. It was for the two junior aides who  
were sitting out in the waiting room. I assume they don't know,"  
CJ said sardonically.

"I didn't see them," John admitted, apologetically. "Thank you," he  
added and was relieved to see the frown on CJ's face disappear.

"It's ok. So, let's get this little guy out of his chair," CJ said,  
as she reached down to unbuckle the seat's straps.

John placed his hand on hers and she stopped, looking up at him.

"May I?" he asked, a smile creeping over his face when CJ nodded.  
He unclipped the straps on the seat and carefully scooped Joel up  
and into his arms. "This is what it's all about," he whispered, as  
Joel stirred in his sleep and snuggled closer against his father's  
chest.

"He just gets more and more like you," CJ said, smiling.

"I couldn't before but I can totally see it now," John agreed,  
gently smoothing back Joel's soft dark hair. "Not seeing him all  
the time…the changes…the little things…I miss out on them,"

"John, I…" CJ began but John continued.

"Please, let me say this. The two weeks at the farm, getting to  
know Joel, it was fantastic. Changing his diapers, bathing him,  
holding him until he fell asleep, God, CJ, I really felt like I was  
part of something. Over those two weeks I really bonded with him  
and even though it's only been a short time since I last saw him,  
I'm constantly worrying that the bond will disappear, that he'll  
forget about me."

"Oh, John," CJ let out a soft sigh and placed her hand on John's  
arm. Looking into his eyes, she saw such sadness and she felt a  
lump rise up in her throat.

"And what happens if I'm the next President? Four, maybe even eight  
years of secret meetings. Days, weeks, months without being able to  
visit him, just so that I can maintain my reputation and avoid  
scandal."

"We've known all along that it was going to be this way," CJ  
reasoned.

"Maybe, but I didn't know it would feel like this," John  
admitted. "I didn't realize that I would love him so completely the  
moment I set eyes on him."

CJ smiled. "It's an amazing feeling, isn't it." She moved her hand  
from John's arm to hold her son's tiny hand.

"It really is. Which is why I'm handing in my resignation to the  
President this evening."

"You're what?!" CJ exclaimed, jumping up from the sofa and startling  
Joel who promptly began to cry.

John shifted the distressed infant to his shoulder and rubbed  
circles on his back in an attempt to soothe him. CJ reached out her  
arms to take the baby but John shook his head. "Ssh, baby," he  
whispered into his son's ear and after a few moments, Joel's cries  
were reduced to hiccups.

CJ sat back down beside John and took a moment to regain her  
composure so as not to upset Joel again.

"You can't quit, John, we've already been through this."

"It's what I want. It's been at the back of my mind for a few weeks  
now but today I'm sure that it's the right thing to do."

"You'd really give up a lifelong dream?"

"Absolutely. I want to be a proper father to my son. I want to be  
a family," John turned to CJ who was staring back at him, her eyes a  
mixture of admiration and confusion and something else John couldn't  
quite place. Leaning over, he moved closer to place a kiss on CJ's  
lips but before he could, CJ moved her head away. John moved back  
and sighed.

"John…"

"I know…I know…I keep making that mistake. I'm sorry,"

"It's not a mistake," CJ said.

John looked at her, surprised. "It's not?"

"No. I'd really like to try explore whatever this is that's going  
on between us but I want it to be right. We've kinda done things  
backwards and I think maybe we should try having a proper date  
before we go any further."

"That would make sense," John laughed softly.

"So, my place? I'll cook," CJ offered.

John was silent and CJ understood his hesitation. "Look, if you're  
worried about someone seeing, don't be. If you are going to resign  
then what does it matter?"

"I guess it doesn't," John said, suddenly feeling lighter than he  
had in months.

"And maybe if it was found out…accidentally on purpose…for  
appearances sake it would be better if it looked as though we've  
been a couple all this time,"

"You really are the Queen of Spin," John laughed.

CJ smiled. "Oh yeah,"


	15. Chapter 15

5 months later

5 months later.

CJ and John walked along the Mall hand in hand, Joel settled with  
his back comfortably against his father's chest cocooned in a  
Snuggly. At six months old, Joel was very alert and took great  
pleasure in watching his surroundings. He kicked excitedly as  
several dozen pigeons took off from their position on the ground and  
flew past.

"That's some kick you've got there, Joel," John said, rubbing his  
side where the tiny foot had come into contact with his  
stomach. "You're gonna be one hell of a football player when you're  
older,"

"He's always been active," CJ said, thinking back to the strong  
kicks she'd experienced during her pregnancy. "I guess like father  
like son,"

They both laughed and John leaned in to steal a kiss. They broke  
apart when they heard the click of a camera going off only a few  
feet away from them. Ordinarily, CJ would have been annoyed at the  
invasion of her privacy but over the last few months she had become  
used to being photographed and she could only be thankful that it  
hadn't been as sensational a story as they had both thought it would  
be.

Sure enough, the day after CJ cooked John dinner at her apartment,  
speculation began in the newspapers over whether or not John was  
Joel's father. Before the story broke, John had as promised handed  
in his resignation to Jed Bartlet who had shaken his hand and wished  
the new family well. Since then, John had been living with CJ and  
Joel at her apartment and only a few weeks prior to their outing on  
the Mall, they had married in a private ceremony at the White  
House. Although it had come as a shock to many, those who knew the  
couple well knew it was the right decision.

"Mr Vice-President, given the way the American public has embraced  
your marriage, have you given any thought to running for President  
in the next election?" the reporter asked as his cameraman snapped  
away.

"Steve, it's just John now and no, CJ and I haven't discussed  
anything yet. Right now I'm just a husband and father," John  
replied, and excused his family as they walked away, leaving the  
reporter behind them. He turned to CJ who he could see was trying  
to hold back laughter. "What?"

"I'm just remembering a time when a similar quote evoked outrage.  
You don't see any men with rolling pins do you?" CJ joked.

John furrowed his brow, confused by her comment but decided it best  
not to delve any deeper. Suddenly, a pigeon flew straight past CJ's  
head and she stepped back quickly out of the way. A tiny giggle  
filled the air as Joel laughed at his mother and CJ bent to kiss the  
top of his head.

A little over a year ago she'd sat alone on her front stoop,  
thinking her life was as good as it was going to get. Little had she  
known how much things would change. How better things could become.  
Maybe it hadn't been the journey she would have planned but the  
result was more than she could ever have wished for. A family.

"Let's go home," she said.


End file.
